You Can't Hurt Me Anymore: A Memoir

You Can't Hurt Me Anymore is a true story of overcoming trauma bonds and domestic violence, rising above it to find the inner strength I didn't know I had. Decades of mistreatment programmed me to believe I would never be enough. When the people I loved hurt me the most, my constant yearning for validation began. Finding the power to stand up to my abusers, re-learn acceptable behaviors and transform my cognitive perceptions was the ultimate feat. Getting over, letting go, and resuming a normal life was the hardest thing I've done to date. Realizing that I, ultimately, control my thoughts and feelings, was the greatest achievement I've accomplished. Physical scars heal. Emotional scars take longer, but learning how not to reopen those wounds is empowering.

This book is for anyone currently surviving domestic violence in a relationship, suffering through childhood trauma, and feeling like there is no way out. I am living proof that we are stronger and more capable than anything set out to tear us down. Tenacity, determination, perseverance, and hope are not things I was taught. Those traits were within me, but I had to fight to bring them to the surface. In writing this, I want those living this on a daily basis-- whether it is a current abuse situation, an escalating DV situation, or trying to understand why you feel such a connection to someone you shouldn't-- to feel hope. I wish for that reader to feel empowered, emboldened, and encouraged to see the light that is inside bursting to shine. For those who feel unworthy and who believe the lies they've been told about themselves, they aren't true. Happiness, freedom, and safety is just on the other side of courage and bravery. With every end, there is a new beginning. The life you deserve, the happiness you desire, and the unshackled liberty you seek is waiting. It's extremely hard to take that first step, but all you have to do is take it. No matter how small, it is simultaneously the hardest yet the easiest step you'll ever take.