Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events (Blu-ray)

Dear Viewer, If you enjoy movies filled with singing rabbits, exploding spaceships, or cheerleaders, you are holding the wrong DVD entirely. This movie is extremely alarming, an expression which here means "a thrilling misadventure involving three ingenious orphans and a villainous actor named Count Olaf (Jim Carrey) who wants their enormous fortune." It includes a suspicious fire, delicious pasta, Jim Carrey, poorly behaved leeches, an incredibly deadly viper, Meryl Streep, and the voice of an impostor named Jude Law. The only things that could make such a spectacle more upsetting are special features, such as commentary by me or outtakes involving nervous laughter. I am bound to continue my research into the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, but you are free to seek lighter fare, like blue cheese fondue. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket (English), Dear Viewer, If you enjoy movies filled with singing rabbits, exploding spaceships, or cheerleaders, you are holding the wrong DVD entirely. This movie is extremely alarming, an expression which here means "a thrilling misadventure involving three ingenious orphans and a villainous actor named Count Olaf (Jim Carrey) who wants their enormous fortune." It includes a suspicious fire, delicious pasta, Jim Carrey, poorly behaved leeches, an incredibly deadly viper, Meryl Streep, and the voice of an impostor named Jude Law. The only things that could make such a spectacle more upsetting are special features, such as commentary by me or outtakes involving nervous laughter. I am bound to continue my research into the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, but you are free to seek lighter fare, like blue cheese fondue. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket (Spanish)

Starring: Kara Hoffman, Shelby Hoffman, Jim Carrey, Jude Law, Liam Aiken, Emily Browning, Billy Connolly, Catherine O'Hara, Meryl Streep, Timothy Spall

Director: Jim Van Wyck, Laurie MacDonald, Walter Parkes

Rating: PG