We Codependent Men, We Mute Coyotes.
Help for men living with addicted people Preface
This book was written for a man who is living with an addicted person who still considers addiction a problem that he can solve on his own. If you are such a man, whether you have admitted it consciously or not, you see some loved-one's behavior as a problem that you may somehow solve. This misconception is not only perpetuating your loved one's disease, it is destroying you as well.
If you can read this book and learn about how addiction to a substance affects family members, then you have chance for recovery. Your loved one's addiction is not a problem you can solve. It is a fact, and you cannot solve a fact. You can only ask for help. As you will discover here, it is available from many sources.
What we are saying is that you are absolutely powerless over someone else's addiction. You may be a CEO, a minister, a physician, an attorney, a policeman, a psychiatrist, or the president. You are still powerless. Until you admit this fact first to God, to yourself, and to another human being, then you are cannot solve this, and you may be part of the problem! Let us give an example. If you have planned a picnic and it has started raining, that is a fact. You cannot solve this fact. Your only choice is to decide how you are going to react to this fact.
Once you understand that addiction is a fact, acceptance can follow. As you will read in our stories about how we tried to survive while living with addicted people, finally coming to that acceptance can be a horribly long and arduous process. May our book make your recovery process begin sooner!
