You're Not My Mother, You're a Narcissist - Paperback

A memoir written from the dual perspective of an abused child and a woman who achieves a life-altering epiphany in her adulthood, the book details an upbringing marked by severe emotional manipulation, physical abuse, and profound neglect-including the deliberate withholding of food and basic hygiene items. Go behind closed doors to see the hidden abuse of a narcissist mother inflicted upon her daughter and the long-term effects that would hinder the child's growth into adulthood.

You're Not My Mother, You're a Narcissist is written to validate anyone who has been abused by a family member. Anyone who has suffered from family trauma or has been emotionally abused, and has tormented themselves on whether they should disassociate from their family or continue the cycle of abuse.

Rather than focusing solely on victimization, the book centers on a powerful story of personal victory. Moore weaves personal history with the research of renowned experts like Julie Hall, Karyl McBride, and Dr. Scott Peck. It explains concepts like narcissistic supply, the scapegoat dynamic, and the three dimensions of empathy in a highly accessible way for laypeople.

Moore successfully challenges heavy societal and religious pressures regarding family loyalty. She reframes the choice to cut off toxic biological parents not as a failure, but as a courageous, necessary act of self-preservation and mental health prioritization. Moore's memoir acts as a validation blueprint, helping readers in similar dynamics identify subtle red flags and outlines clear strategies for setting firm boundaries, treating complex trauma, managing anxiety, and emotionally separating from a toxic upbringing.

She offers vital coping mechanisms including going no contact and psychological strategies for individuals who must remain in proximity to a narcissist, such as through forced co-parenting. Ultimately, the book highlights the immense courage required to sever toxic family ties and choosing truth over societal expectations to embark on a journey of healing and self-differentiation.