When Love Is Not Enough: Parenting a Child with Trauma, Reactive Attachment Disorder and Borderline Traits - Paperback

When Love Is Not Enough: A Memoir of Parenting, Trauma, and Survival

What happens when love alone cannot save a child from their trauma? In When Love Is Not Enough, RJ Koehler shares a raw and honest memoir of one adoptive family's journey through Reactive Attachment Disorder, borderline personality traits, and the unhealed trauma of a young girl named Julia.

Julia's early years left invisible wounds that shaped her identity, relationships, and ability to trust. What began as hope for a new start quickly became a cycle of manipulation, aggression, self-destruction, and emotional unpredictability. For years, her adoptive family fought to provide safety, structure, and love while surviving the daily crises her behaviors created.

Even when Julia returned to her biological mother, the trauma followed, repeating the same painful patterns. This is a story of love and of letting go. It is the hard truth that sometimes saving someone is beyond your power, and survival requires courage, boundaries, and resilience.

Also by RJ Koehler: What He Didn't Break, Choosing Life After Loss, The Weight of Silence

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

What is reactive attachment disorder (RAD)?
RAD is a condition where a child has difficulty forming healthy emotional attachments due to early trauma or neglect.

What are the signs of trauma in children?
Signs may include emotional outbursts, difficulty regulating behavior, attachment challenges, and intense reactions.

Who is this book for?
This memoir is for parents, caregivers, educators, and professionals working with children who have experienced trauma.

Is this based on real experiences?
Yes. This memoir reflects RJ Koehler's real-life parenting experiences and challenges.