The Identity Reset: A Guide to Discovering Yourself After Loss, Change, and Survival - Hardcover
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The Identity Reset is the printed hardcover, and it speaks to the stretch after a loss when the old version of you has stopped fitting.
Ashley Olivia Nelson works on grief and identity together. That second half is what books about loss tend to skip: who you are afterwards, not only what happened.
What the book works through
Some of this loss comes from what was taken away. Some comes from what was never handed over at all, and she counts both kinds as real.
Her argument is that the goal is not moving on but moving differently, without the pressure to perform a recovery on anyone else's schedule.
What she offers runs from naming what is missing, to permission to grieve it, to easing the overwhelm, to choosing the relationships that hold.
From the publisher
No one prepares you for losing the version of yourself that loss, trauma, and major life changes took. This book helps you discover who you are when life rewrites your identity.
The Identity Reset: A Guide to Discovering Yourself After Loss, Change, and Survival is a lifeline for those navigating the difficult in-between--when your past self no longer fits, and the future feels uncertain and unrecognizable.
For some, identity loss begins with what was taken. For others, it starts with what was never given: stability, affirmation, belonging, or the safety that trauma disrupted. And when the people, roles, or routines that shaped your life have died, it changes you. Author Ashley Olivia Nelson, a loss and trauma survivor, shows that discovering who you are isn't about "moving on"--it's about moving differently, without shame, pressure, or the need to perform.
This book helps you name what's missing, understand how you've changed, and gently mend who you are--without minimizing what happened to you. As an identity and grief specialist, Ashley Olivia Nelson offers:
- Finding the words for the invisible losses that shaped you
- Granting yourself permission to grieve and explore who you are now
- Steps to ease overwhelm and build emotional capacity
- Choosing relationships that truly accept you
You'll walk away with more than validation--you'll leave with direction. Whether you're grieving who you were or who you never got to be, The Identity Reset offers soul-tending reflection and clear, heartfelt insight.
ASHLEY OLIVIA NELSON is the founder of Learning About Grief, an organization that has served over 30,000 people across more than 50 countries. She offers grief care through an identity-centered lens, helping individuals navigate loss and major life transitions.
Since 2013, she has worked across grief and identity care in healthcare, mental health, life insurance, and the funeral care industries. A two-time widow and informed Internal Family Systems (IFS) practitioner, Ashley brings both professional insight and lived experience to those facing their most vulnerable moments.
Her work has been featured in POPSUGAR, Marie Claire, Shape, and Next Avenue.
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