Seize the Day: 250 Anecdotes and Stories - Paperback
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This book contains 250 funny and entertaining anecdotes, including these: 1) G.K. Chesterton was able to lose himself in a subject. A very overweight man, Mr. Chesterton was once sitting in a chair, discussing a subject, when the chair collapsed on him. He moved to another chair and continued the discussion at the exact word he had left off. The people present were convinced that he had barely noticed the collapsing chair and his move to a sturdier seat. 2) Saul Bellow and his literary agent, Harriet Wasserman, once had dinner at the home of Allan Bloom (also represented by Ms. Wasserman), who kept jumping up to get something from the kitchen. Each time he went past a palm tree that Mr. Bellow thought was very ugly, its fronds brushed his backside. Mr. Bellow watched this for a while, then he told Mr. Bloom, "Allan, now I know what that plant's good for." 3) Eddie Cantor once asked W.C. Fields why he never went swimming. Mr. Fields explained that while working in Atlantic City, he had to pretend to drown twelve times a day in front of a restaurant so that a huge crowd would gather, then seek refreshment. Mr. Fields told Mr. Cantor, "That's why I'm against water. I got enough in Atlantic City to last me a lifetime."
It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly a cry rang out, and on a hot summer night in 1954, Josephine, wife of Carl Bruce, gave birth to a boy - me. Unfortunately, this young married couple allowed Reuben Saturday, Josephine's brother, to name their first-born. Reuben, aka "The Joker," decided that Bruce was a nice name, so he decided to name me Bruce Bruce. I have gone by my middle name -- David -- ever since.
Being named Bruce David Bruce hasn't been all bad. Bank tellers remember me very quickly, so I don't often have to show an ID. It can be fun in charades, also. When I was a counselor as a teenager at Camp Echoing Hills in Warsaw, Ohio, a fellow counselor gave the signs for "sounds like" and "two words," then she pointed to a bruise on her leg twice. Bruise Bruise?
Oh yeah, Bruce Bruce is the answer!
Uncle Reuben, by the way, gave me a haircut when I was in kindergarten. He cut my hair short and shaved a small bald spot on the back of my head. My mother wouldn't let me go to school until the bald spot grew out again.
Of all my brothers and sisters (six in all), I am the only transplant to Athens, Ohio. I was born in Newark, Ohio, and have lived all around Southeastern Ohio. However, I moved to Athens to go to Ohio University and have never left.
At Ohio U, I never could make up my mind whether to major in English or Philosophy, so I got a bachelor's degree with a double major in both areas, then I added a Master of Arts degree in English and a Master of Arts degree in Philosophy. Yes, I have my MAMA degree.
Currently, and for a long time to come (I eat fruits and veggies), I am spending my retirement writing books such as Nadia Comaneci: Perfect 10, The Funniest People in Comedy, Homer's Iliad: A Retelling in Prose, and William Shakespeare's Hamlet: A Retelling in Prose.
If all goes well, I will publish one or two books a year for the rest of my life. (On the other hand, a good way to make God laugh is to tell Her your plans.)
By the way, my sister Brenda Kennedy writes romances such as A New Beginning and Shattered Dreams.
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