Even If, He is Still Good: Grief, Trauma, Faith, and the Love That Remains - Hardcover

On December 29, 2024, Candice Garrod's world split open. Her husband Tanner, the man who made pterodactyl sounds for no reason, picked cactus instead of wildflowers, and loved her without an exit strategy, was killed. What followed was not a tidy journey toward healing. It was rage and bargaining. Nightmares and silence. A thousand tiny, ambushing moments of loss hiding in tax forms, trash cans, and the wrong side of an empty bed.

Even If, He Is Still Good is Candice's unflinching account of grief in its rawest form from the PTSD to the faith that shattered and somehow survived, to the people who showed up and the ones who disappeared. But it is equally a love story: for a husband she will never stop missing, for a son who held her up off the tile floor, for a family that finally showed her what staying looks like.

Candice doesn't offer a roadmap through grief. She offers honest company inside it. She writes about wrestling with God in her kitchen, about the way people avoid saying the names of the dead, and about learning to carry what you never asked for. About how joy isn't the absence of grief but the refusal to let grief have everything.

For anyone who has known a before and an after, and is still figuring out how to live in the middle, this book is for you.

Even if life didn't turn out the way you begged for... He is still good. And love is still worth it.