Behind Closed Doors: Existence Concealed in an Eating Disorder Body - Paperback

This memoir explores the experiences of a middle-aged woman with anorexia. She spends several months as an outpatient in a hospital's eating disorder unit with several patients aged fourteen to forty. The author's story reflects the fears, the obsessions with food and weight gain, restricting, controlling and secrecy. Other patients' secrets are revealed to the extent they trust one another with their secrets. Common threads are ultimately uncovered among those with anorexia and bulimia.

Health insurance coverage, or the lack thereof, is noted throughout the book. Patients are prematurely released due to inadequate coverage for lengthy stays for eating disorders. Patients are ill-prepared to return home without a complete recovery, only a weight stabilization. The severity of the effects of anorexia in our population reveals the rate of mortality is high with one in five committing suicide in the United States. This figure includes both males and females, but males are less likely to seek treatment. Societal stigmas and social media prevent boys from getting the help needed.

Interspersed between the book's chapters are poems written in response to the author's observations in the hospital during Process and informal discussions.

In addition to bringing a mental health issue to the attention of the next generation, the author hopes the memoir and collection of poems brings some comfort to those with an eating disorder with the knowledge they are not alone. Recovery is possible even though there may be relapses along the way.